Getting a driver's license is a pretty big milestone for a teenager. After spending months learning the rules of the road and practicing with a parent or other supervising driver, they can finally get behind the wheel on their own.
For parents, though, this can be a big adjustment, too. You aren't sitting beside your teen anymore, reminding them to check their mirrors or telling them where to turn. They're making those decisions for themselves.
The first few months are a good time to establish some family rules for new teen drivers. State law already sets certain restrictions for young drivers, but families can have additional rules that make sense for their own situation. Talking about those expectations ahead of time can make it easier for your teen to know what to do when they're faced with a situation they didn't expect.
Here are five rules worth discussing before your teen starts driving independently.
1. Put the phone away while driving.
There shouldn't be any question about whether your teen can use their phone while driving. Texting, checking notifications, scrolling through social media, changing music, or responding to a message can all take their attention away from the road.
Have your teen put their phone somewhere they can't easily reach it before they start driving. If they use their phone for navigation, the route should be set before they leave. If they need to make a call, send a message, or change their navigation, they should pull over somewhere safe first. It can also help to establish this rule for everyone in the family. Teen drivers are more likely to take a rule seriously when they're seeing the adults around them follow it, too.
2. Everyone wears a seat belt.
Your teen needs to wear their seat belt every time they drive, even if they're only going a short distance. The same applies to every passenger they have in the vehicle. Getting into the habit of checking that everyone is buckled before pulling out of the driveway is a simple routine that can stick with them as they gain more driving experience.
This can be especially important when your teen starts driving friends around. They may feel awkward telling a friend to buckle up, so it's worth talking about that expectation before it happens.
3. Set clear expectations about nighttime driving.
Nighttime driving can be more difficult for a new driver. There is less visibility, headlights from other vehicles can create glare, and it can be harder to judge distances and recognize hazards in the dark.
Your teen's license may already have restrictions on nighttime driving, depending on your state. Make sure they know exactly what those restrictions are and when they apply. Your family can also establish its own rules. You might decide that your teen needs to be home by a certain time during the first few months or limit nighttime driving to specific situations. As your teen gets more experience, you can revisit those rules and decide whether they're still necessary.
4. Be careful about teen passengers.
Friends can be one of the biggest distractions for a new driver. A passenger may start a conversation, play loud music, show the driver something on their phone, or simply make the driver feel pressure to pay attention to what's happening inside the vehicle.
Many states have passenger restrictions for newly licensed teens, so make sure your teen understands the rules that apply to their license. You can also set a stricter family rule if you think that's appropriate.
For example, you might decide that your teen can only have one friend in the vehicle at first, even if state law allows more passengers. Fewer passengers can mean fewer distractions while your teen is still getting used to driving independently. Keep in mind, too, that siblings can be a big distraction as well.
5. Make a plan before your teen leaves.
A new driver may be comfortable driving familiar roads but feel less confident when they're suddenly somewhere they don't know. That's why it's helpful to have your teen think about where they're going before they pull out of the driveway.
If they're going somewhere unfamiliar, have them check the route ahead of time. They should know where they're going, have their navigation ready if they need it, and give themselves enough time to get there without rushing.
It's also worth talking about what should happen if the plan changes. Imagine your teen goes to an evening school event and plans to drive straight home afterward. While they're there, a friend tells them their ride fell through and asks your teen for a ride home. Your teen may know that you don't usually want them driving friends around at night, but they're standing there with a friend who needs help and may not know what you're going to say.
Talk about situations like this before they happen. Your family might have a rule that your teen needs to contact you before changing their plans, especially if the change involves another passenger, a different destination, or driving later than expected.
Family rules can be stricter than state law.
Your teen still has to follow all of the restrictions that come with their license. Those rules vary by state and can include limits on nighttime driving, passengers, and other conditions for new drivers.
However, state law doesn't have to be the only set of rules your family follows. You might decide that your teen needs to follow an earlier nighttime curfew than the law requires. You might limit the number of passengers they can carry or require them to check in when they arrive somewhere.
These kinds of family rules give parents and teens a chance to decide what they're comfortable with based on the teen's experience and the types of driving they'll be doing. As your teen gets more practice and becomes more comfortable handling different situations, you can adjust the rules.
Talk about the rules before something goes wrong.
Your teen is going to run into situations they haven't experienced before. They might get lost, encounter bad weather, have a friend ask for a ride, or realize they're going to be late getting home.
Those situations are much easier to handle when your teen already knows what you expect. Talk about the rules before your teen starts driving alone, and make sure they know when they should contact you. Most importantly, make sure they know they can call you if they don't feel comfortable handling a situation on their own.
For example, if your teen is driving home and the weather suddenly gets bad, they shouldn't feel like they have to keep driving just because they told you they'd be home at a certain time. They should be able to pull over, call and talk through their options.
The first 90 days give your teen a lot of opportunities to learn how to make decisions without a parent sitting beside them. Clear family rules can give them some direction while they're building that experience, and talking about those rules ahead of time can help prevent confusion when an unexpected situation comes up.
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